Christmas is in the air and I always get in a kind of joyful mood about this time of year. I was so spirited last week, I even started singing Christmas songs and that is when the fertilization hit the ventilation.
“Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la” yelled Herb, my pet plant, “Why don’t you shut-up? You know better than to sing those Christmas songs around me! Besides, you have an awful voice!”
“What are you talking about?” I asked in bewilderment, “Aren’t you in a Christmas spirit?”
“I hate Christmas. All of us plants are discriminated against during Christmas. Christmas… Bah… Humbug!”
“You’re crazy, Herb. Christmas is a pleasant time for everyone.”
“Not if you’re a piece of mistletoe it isn’t.”
“No kidding,” said the piece of mistletoe over the door.
“It isn’t much fun if you are a scotch pine either,” the Christmas tree chimed in.
“How would you like to be chopped down and taken out of your forest?” asked Herb.
“I don’t think anyone would do that to me,” I replied.
“We plants have a hard time during Christmas.”
“If plants weren’t so beautiful they would not be used during Christmas,” I told Herb, “You should be honored to be so well recognized.”
“Honored Shonored,” replied the Christmas tree.
“Flattery will get you nowhere,” said Herb, “I think all of us plants deserve an apology from you for being so cruel.”
“I will not. I have never been mean to you guys.”
“Then why don’t you put us back in the woods where we belong?”
“Oh yeah. I forgot,” said Herb, “But I still think we deserve an apology.”
“If you don’t say you’re sorry to that Christmas tree I will tell all of the poison ivy plants down the street to attack you.”
“If you’re going to be that way you don’t get any water for the next week.”
So it turned out to be a stand off between Herb and my self. Herb hasn’t talked to me much since that day, but I am hoping he will come to his senses when he sees the Christmas present I found for him. Herb always needed a girl friend so I went down and picked out a cute little pansy to live with him. He ought to like that.
Merry Christmas everyone!