TRICKY DICK’S PICKS
Friends have been told privately by Richard M. Nixon that he feels the 1976 presidential winner will not be his hand-picked successor, but rather Sen. Edward Kennedy, who most feel still will not run.
PESSIMISM TOPS OPTIMISM
For the first time since questions concerning America’s future were first asked of U.S. citizens, most feel that the future will be no better (and possibly worse) than the present. A sad fact, in any democracy as vast as ours, needs optimism to keep its country going. But the proof is around us that the pollsters aren’t lying – how many times have you heard people say they weren’t going to vote because it didn’t make any difference who won?
WHAT NEXT?!
The following is pure fact, as hard as it may seem to comprehend. The latest craze in pet ownership, by virtue of sales as opposed to cash outlay, is cashews and buildups in many of our major cities, are rocks. That’s right, rocks.
They have their benefits in that they have largely eliminated the rigors of pet ownership. The come package in carrying boxes, compete with nests and breathing holes cut in, and sell for about $4. A care and training manual comes with the pet rocks. The major tricks of most of these unorthodox pets are to lie down, sit, and play dead. They are an idea of California advertising man Gary Dahl, and he ships 3,000 to 6,000 a day to specialty stores all over the country.
GRIPE OF THE WEEK
Why is it that although refused admittance in X and R rated movies, teenagers between the ages of 12 and 17 are forced to pay adult prices?
CALL ‘EM ‘ HIM ‘ACANES
Disc jockey Rob Shannon has set out to bring about equal rights to business by baptizing hurricanes. He feels that it is about time for the National Hurricane Center to start naming boyish names, e.g. Bruce or Irving. He has reported his campaign to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and they have promised him they would consider his suggestion at a January meeting. Goodnight Irene – Hello Irving.
Your short-winded columnist (this week, anyway) is shutting her down… BILLY BURTON